We lost my Mom on March 21, 2019 (14 Adar II, 5779). Her funeral service was four days later at Washington Hebrew Congregation -- the synagogue we were members of as a young family in the 1960's, and where we also had my father's funeral service in 2011.
I was fortunate to be able to share my thoughts at the service:
Remembering my mother, Lori
Gordon. 3/25/19
Each of you knew my Mom in a different way. We knew her as our Mother. I’d like to take a few minutes to share my experience as one of her children.
My mother knew hardship and tragedy
early in life. She was an orphan at age 16, having lost her Dad to a heart
attack and her mother to cancer. This
stayed with her the rest of her life, as she’d known the feeling of being alone
in this world and the fear of being on the sidelines as life moved
forward. She worked to be sure her
children never knew such loneliness. She
also pushed herself forward, earning admission to Cornell University and
completing her degree by age 20. She set an example of perseverance in the face
of adversity that we each carry today.
My Mom felt great pride in our Jewish
roots. She loved to share the history of
her father emigrating to the U.S. and coming from a long line of distinguished
Rabbi’s. In hearing her father’s story,
we learned pride in our Jewish heritage.
My Mom loved to do puzzles, but that
understates the magnitude of the puzzles that she tackled. She was a problem solver.
- In the mid-1960’s, not long after
President Kennedy was assassinated, funds were needed to build a suiting
memorial. As the single mother of four
children, it isn’t like she had the means to make the contribution she might
have liked. Instead, she organized a
concert, at Walt Whitman High School in Bethesda. The proceeds of that concert went towards the
construction of the John F Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. While I know many others helped build the
building, I still think of it as the building that my Mom built.
- When she finished her graduate degree
and went to work as a psychiatric social worker in Falls Church, she was
frustrated by the limited funds available for training and professional
development. Rather than complain, she
created the Family Relation’s Institute, bringing leading thinkers in the field
to the Washington area to teach and lead workshops. As the organizer, she got to participate,
built relationships with the pioneers of her field, and advance her
profession. She solved the problem of
the limited budget. And, she turned the solution into something
transformational. While the field of
family therapy is well established today, I’m proud that my Mom was the first
person ever hired by the Commonwealth of Virginia with the title, Family
Therapist. She was a pioneer and leader
in her chosen profession and set a high bar for each of us to pursue in our
professions.
- Mostly, having known the heartache of
divorce, my Mom set forth to solve the puzzle of human relationship
skills. That became her life’s work and
passion. While I can’t say that I
learned those lessons well, Fran and I will celebrate 35 years of marriage
later this year, and we couldn’t be more proud of the four beautiful children
we’ve raised. My Mom shared that pride
in every moment that she spent as their grandmother.
My earliest memory of philanthropy was
joining my Mom for walks around Merrimac Park, going door to door to ask people
to contribute to either the Cancer Society or the Heart Association, the two
diseases that took her parents. Those of
you who know me, know that this tradition lives on in my annual commitment to
“pedaling for a purpose”, and my annual request that you contribute the Pan
Mass Challenge, raising funds for Cancer research, and the Israel Ride, raising
funds for peace and environmental leadership.
My comfort with that starts with my Mother’s example. Together, we’ve raised many thousands of
dollars in the last several years. My Mom
was always my most proud and generous donor.
Probably the longest lasting memory
that I have of my Mom is of her sitting in the yard, in front of our house in
Bethesda, happily waiting to greet me when I came home from school. For everything else that she would achieve in
life, my mother was happy and content just being a Mom and being with her children.
We are expecting our first grandchild
in a few weeks. I believe that he will
grow up with the lessons my Mom wanted for him – a love of family and our
Jewish heritage, a commitment to engaging with the world and working to make it
a better place, and the comfort and security of loving parents. With each of these things, the love of my Mom
will live on in a new generation.
